Raiders of Quinn's Ark
by mywordshurt
Summary: Its the 30th anniversary of Raiders of the Lost Ark, and of course, Quinn loves Indiana Jones, but not as much as Rachel. FABERRY. ONESHOT. Crack!Fic.


**I still have not given up on CTIA, but there are only a few chapters left. I will be posting later this week, but because of the 30th Anniversary of Raiders of the Lost Ark, I just had to post this. I hope you enjoy. This can be considered a companion piece to my Star Wars faberry. **

**I DON'T OWN SHIT. **

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><p><strong>RAIDERS OF QUINN'S ARK<strong>

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><p>The date was June 12, 2011.<p>

_30 years_.

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><p>Rachel Berry jollily skipped towards the home of her sweet girlfriend. It was a 'lovely' June day and the warmth of the sun made her more aroused than ever. Saying hi to the mailman, the dogs, the trees, the other mailman, and twenty-one roses, it was absolutely clear that unless she found Quinn dead on the kitchen floor, nothing could bring her mood down.<p>

She knocked rhythmically on the door of the Fabray home. One moment. Two moment. Three moment. Four moment. Five moment. Six moment. Seven moment. Eight moment. Nine moment. Ten moment. Eleven moment. Twelve moment. The knob twisted and the door pulled open, revealing a beaming blonde beauty. Quinn of course. This isn't Puck, you know…

"Hey!" Rachel's pearly whites nearly blinded Quinn. Quinn pulled Rachel inside. Because Rachel never complained about anything that wasn't the poor performance of her teammates in glee, table manners, proper grammar, or being on time (the time was one-thirty. She said she would be at Quinn house at one-thirty), she did not complain about the 87 degree weather. The house was air conditioned though, and Quinn was enjoying it.

"Hey, sweetie." Quinn's hand looped around Rachel and pulled her into Quinn's torso. Rachel lips pressed lightly against her Quinn's collarbone, and her girlfriend shuddered at the delightful touch.

"I missed you," Rachel whispered. Her hand caressed Quinn's smooth cheek before settling around her neck. The hug was tight, and Quinn enjoyed it that way.

"Is that Rachel?" Judy called from the kitchen.

"Yeah!" Quinn called back.

"Hey, Rachel!"

"Hello, Mrs. Fabray." Rachel said politely as the two entered the kitchen.

Judy stared at Rachel sternly. "What did I say about that? It's Judy or Mom." Rachel smiled cheekily at being chastised once again for this reoccurring crime. Quinn's fingers gently caressed Rachel's thigh from the safety of behind the kitchen island.

"How are you today?" Judy said as she mixed together pink lemonade.

"I'm doing very well today. Its lovely weather, isn't it? And how are you?" Rachel's sense of propriety shone through in just about everything she said. Except you know, those exceptions.

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><p><em>May 7<em>_th__, 2011_

"_C'mon Quinn! Oh yeah. C'mon baby! Oh, gosh oh! Don't stop. You're so fucking good. OH QUINN! I need you. Make me come. All the way. All. The. WAY!"_

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><p><em>May 26<em>_th__, 2011_

"_You like this don't you, you little slut. You want my fingers in you. Just lightly caressing you? Or…REALLY, deep, inside you. I bet you taste good. Why don't I have a taste. Maybe I'll come back for seconds…"_

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><p><em>June 2<em>_nd__, 2011_

"_You're…so good to me, Quinn. So…So…good. You have, REALLY, pretty boobies. You know that? They're so big and…soft and…mmm, tasty." _

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><p>Rachel was, maybe, sort of, kinda, DRUNKduring the third occasion.<p>

"I'm good, thank you. Would you like some lemonade?" Judy responded as she poured a glass.

"No, but thank you for asking." Rachel said, grabbing Quinn's hand to keep her from touching Rachel more than she already had. It's not that she didn't like it…but if she started to orgasm on the kitchen floor in front of Judy, things would never be the same. Rachel glared at Quinn quite discreetly, but Quinn just grinned widely and took a glass of lemonade from her mother.

The two girls walked into the living room, where Quinn placed the lemonade on the coffee table. Rachel jumped towards the cup and placed it on a coaster. Quinn laughed at her girlfriend.

"So, what's up for today?" Rachel asked, once Coastergate was adverted.

"Well, today is a very special day." Quinn clasped her hands together and grinned at the brunette, who responded with confusion.

"What's so special?"

Quinn told Rachel to stay put; the blond ran upstairs, leaving Rachel alone with herself. She shifted uncomfortably in the silence. Finally Quinn's footsteps were heard, and Rachel saw the girl plop down on the couch with a DVD in her hand.

"It's the anniversary of a movie?" Rachel deadpanned.

Quinn glared angrily at her love. "Not just any movie – _Raiders of the Lost Ark_!" Quinn held up the totally awesome movie for Rachel to behold. Unfortunately, when you hold something up really high, as to give if dramatic effect, Rachel Berry can't always see it. Especially when the heavens are shining down lights upon it.

"Gimme it!" Rachel whined, reaching for it. Quinn brought it back down and handed it to the singer. She studied the back of it.

"You've never seen it?" Quinn asked, incredulous.

"Quinn, my viewing experiences are limited to musicals, old romantic comedies, and _Star Wars_, thanks to you." Rachel stated bluntly. As if that was a bad thing.

"At least I can say I've done one thing right with you." Quinn wrapped her arms around Rachel's waist and rested her chin on her shoulder.

"Yeah yeah. So this is like an action movie?"

"No, silly," Quinn murmured, "this is _the _greatest adventure film of all-time. It has action, suspense, comedy and…_romance_," Quinn whimpered the last part into Berry's ear, sending shivers down her spine.

Rachel gulped. "Sounds…good."

Quinn's hand crawled up Rachel's front and lightly pressed against her breast. "Oh it is."

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><p>"That was a really awesome movie, Quinn." Rachel smiled as Quinn rolled on top of her.<p>

Quinn smiled, leaning down and kissing her girlfriend, "I know how to pick em." They were quiet for a few more moments, before Rachel broke it.

She slapped Quinn's ass and said, "We need a whip, Quinn."


End file.
